Personal Growth

"But as I look back at my life, it is easy to see that the times when my wisdom and understanding grew to new levels; those times when I approached becoming the person I long to be; it was always the times that followed negative circumstances." -- Vic Johnson

I have been very fortunate to have experienced several "disasters" in my life.

Fortunate, you say?

Yes, I have been very fortunate indeed.

I was fortunate enough to go through a divorce with my now ex-husband, freeing us to be the good friends and parents we are today. Yes, it was a totally nightmare-ish time for both of us, and we did the usual divorcing couple things - lashing out in anger, manipulating, name-calling, you name it, we did it. I had to walk out of the relationship with nothing other than the children, my computer and 2 broodmares in order to walk out (and forward) at all, but I have never looked back. But we both GREW as people through that time. We learned how to deal with one another, learning to set our differences aside and do what is best for our children. And in the doing, we became friends again. We went through the fire and came out the other side the stronger for it.

Speaking of trial by fire I was fortunate enough to have our house and everything in it burn to a crisp in order for us to appreciate the material things that we have in our lives. The kids and I lost almost everything in that fire but through the entire process the kids and I grew as people. Sure, it was devastating, and it hurt us all very deeply. Hey no one ever said GROWTH is painless - that's why they call them growing pains. But it wasn't until we lost everything for the second time in a year that we truly appreciated what we had.

We were fortunate enough to have a very sickly child - during the first 2 years of his life Dylan was hospitalized 5 times for various respiratory ailments and systemic bacterial sepsis from one of his pneumonia episodes. At the time we didn't realize just how often sepsis is fatal in infants - recent figures show that 1 in 3 children with systemic bacterial sepsis dies. At the time we thought it was more like 1 in 5 (me) or 1 in 20 (Darren). We learned just how very precious life is as we slept in hopital chairs and walked hospital hallways with ailing Dylan.

The same weekend the house burned down, friends of ours lost their beloved granddaughter Natalia at age 3 to an aggressive brain cancer. Their lovely daughter Rachel, Natalia's mother, committed suicide 18 months later, unable to cope with her loss, leaving behind another daughter - 10 yo Caylee. Poor, poor Rachel didn't make it through her trial by fire. We learned from her tragedy to appreciate our children and savor the time we have them with us. When I start feeling sorry for myself I drive up and sit by Rachel's and Natalia's tomb and remember that I am alive, I am strong and I am capable of going forward and opening my eyes day after day. As long as you are alive you have hope and possibilities.

Now life is a bit different for each of us. We are stronger people - we have lived through adversity and emerged whole, if perhaps somewhat scarred. We know that we can handle anything that life throws at us, and we appreciate the people in our lives who are there because we have drawn them there. We are incredibly lucky that we didn't have to lose anyone in our family to learn how important we are to one another, and that FAMILY and LOVE are what really matters. We have risen from the ashes that was our lives with new strength, appreciation and determination. We are capable and enduring, flexible but perservering. Onwards and upwards with a smile - we can overcome anything as long as we have one another.